


Grabbing Frogs with a City Slicker

by NoBrandHero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Land of Frost and Frogs, SBURB, Silly, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 17:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBrandHero/pseuds/NoBrandHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trying to breed frogs by utilizing a high number of time loops is chaotic enough on its own. It's even worse when the time traveler involved is a city kid who thinks nature is weird and gross.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grabbing Frogs with a City Slicker

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick little fic based on [this Tumblr post and its tags by deliverusfromsburb](http://deliverusfromsburb.tumblr.com/post/96278493868/i-have-yet-to-see-people-truly-capitalizing-on-the), 'cos it sounded fun and I needed a writing warm-up. (I sorta want to expand it, but I haven't found the time yet, so I'm just posting it as-is.)

If Jade had thought thirteen Daves was an absolutely preposterous amount, then the number of Daves running around LOFAF gathering frogs was an absurdly ludicrous amount. She could barely turn her head without finding at least two more in her line of vision.

"Isn't this a little excessive?" she asked the nearest Dave as he made a grab for one of the frogs.

"You're telling me." He caught the frog with enough ease that he must have been pretty far along in his looping. The earlier Daves usually had to try a couple times before the frogs stayed firmly in their grasp. He straightened, holding the struggling creature at arm's length. "If one more of these fuckers tries to pee on me like I'm some kinda walking reptile outhouse-"

"Amphibian," Jade said. "And I meant all the time travel, silly!"

"Oh. Nah, I know what I'm doing." He captchalogued the frog. "This is how it's gotta be. Trust me, that genesis frog's gonna be more done than a steak at a shitty chain restaurant. It's gonna-"

"FUCK!" A shout that sounded suspiciously like Dave -- minus his flat tone, plus some decent volume -- came from somewhere in the trees behind them.

Dave almost winced at the sound and he continued in a hurry, "-be done even faster than planned, 'cos I gotta bail and find another handful of those reptile assholes before shit gets an uncomfortable mix of first-hand and second-hand embarrassing." He gave her a parting nod before flashstepping away with a, "Later."

Jade stared after him in confusion for half a moment, but as a non-time traveler she spared very few seconds to such useless activities before getting right back to business. She wandered towards where she thought she'd heard the shout. "Dave?" she said before realizing how many dozens of Daves might answer such a generic call. "Err, the Dave who just yelled 'fuck' really loudly?"

"Wasn't me," a Dave replied ahead and to the right. "Daves don't yell, we are far too chill to let out any cries of surprise or pain, even if we're sneak attacked by a goddamn plant."

She followed the sound of his monologue until she spotted him. He'd apparently chased a frog into a thorn bush, where his jeans were thoroughly ensnared and possibly a little torn considering the little dabs of red staining the denim. She tilted her head, frowning in concern. "Oookay, so I'm assuming you're the Dave who cussed maybe a liiittle above a normal volume?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, could be. Lots of Daves cuss, myself among them." He crossed his arms. "Jade, you aware your planet is covered in plants with secret violent tendencies? At least you know where you stand with lava. These bushes are backstabbing traitors, all, yo, I'm just a harmless plant- nah, just kidding, motherfucker, meet my thorns in your shin."

"Well, it's not too hard to avoid them actually! Just pay attention a little before you pass by them too closely." She knelt to examine the damage and strategize the best plan of attack to get him free. "Try not to move and I'll get you out of there."

"Hey, I'm fine, I've- _khhh_ -" He let out a pained sound as he tried to wrench his leg free by brute force. "-totally got this under control in just a few seconds."

"Sorry, dude, gotta follow her lead here," a presumably future Dave said as he passed by, tossing a frog to another Dave who took off with it.

Dave frowned. "Seriously? We can't handle a goddamn bush without help?"

"You've barely got room to complain yet, bro," future Dave said, equipping his timetables. "You haven't even lost a pair of shoes in the mud."

"Wait, what?" caught-in-bush Dave said, but the other Dave had already popped into the past. He looked to Jade instead. "Jade, what the fuck kind of mud do you have out here that snatches people's shoes?"

Jade held back a sigh as she moved to untangle him. She kind of wished she had time to do this frog breeding without all the looping. One Dave was _really_ more than enough to keep track of.


End file.
